We left Beijing at 5:30am to catch the bullet train to Zhengzhou...the capitol of Bear's province. This is the city where most of the paperwork will be completed for the adoption and where we will meet Bear. The train was simple and the station relatively easy to navigate. The best part was the hassle free boarding and smooth ride. Cruising along at 200mph in near silence was pleasant and I would recommend it to those adoptive families traveling to Zhengzhou behind us to consider it. We beat most of those who took the flight and had the ability to walk around and visit with each other. As a bonus, we were able to see the countryside. We gazed at field after field for three hours...occasionally interrupted by a city.
Once in ZZ, we were picked up by our guide and translator, Yisha. Driving to the hotel we noticed the increase in temperature and decrease in air quality. The smog is thick here and a cloud of soft gray yuckiness looms overhead. We grabbed a little lunch, made a trip to Walmart and then checked into the hotel for a restful evening. My heart warmed when we opened the door to find this:
And I cried thinking that it was his last night in an orphanage. His last night to go to sleep without kisses and Superman PJs. His last night as a child without parents. D was quiet but I can read his heart with just a glance. My strong, sweet husband. It's in these moments that I know what a treasure he is. To step up to the plate and be a father to a fatherless child. I admire him, respect him and am thankful for his endless devotion to our family and faith.
Please pray, now that we are just hours away, for Bear's heart and his transition. Everything about this process is difficult and frightening for a child. Please pray that his mourning doesn't last a moment longer than necessary for healing to begin. Please pray for Grandma Han who has cared for Bear since he was 2 days old. She loves him fiercely and will be saying goodbye to him in just a few hours. As I lay sleepless last night, I mourned with her as I knew she would be feeding him dinner one last time. Giving him one last 8 o'clock bath. And now this morning, dressing him to meet his family. Although we are overwhelmed with joy to be his parents, I know that this joy is only possible because of loss. The loss of two amazing women. His birth mama who choose life for a tiny baby that needed immediate medical attention and his nanny, Grandma Han, who has spent every day with him for 20 months. I wonder if she will come with him this morning. What will I say standing before her? Will my words come to me or will the remain a painful lump in my throat? Maybe the pain will be too great for her to see us face-to-face and she will tell her beloved Bear goodbye before he is loaded in a van bound for the province capitol. Adoption...so beautiful. so painful. so right.
Love to all.
Next Post....GOTCHA DAY!