Dear Squatty Potty,
You have intimidated for weeks and a few days ago we met eye to eye. Much to my surprise you appeared in the most unlikely of places...the shopping mall inside the train station. Without knowing you were hiding in there, I hopped in line with a group of young high school girls and waited my turn. That's the thing about squatty potties..you never know when they are coming. They lie in wait for the next naive Westerner to open the stall and then BAM! There it is...a hole in the ground.
I must have looked shocked because I froze momentarily, only coming to my senses as the school girls began to giggle at me. They may as well have drawn a line across the tile and bet that I wasn't going to use that potty because being "called out" gave me just enough determination to do the unthinkable. I threw my shoulders back, smoothed the front of my Eddie Bauer Travelex dress and said a silent prayer for my gladiator sandals. Then, I entered the stall.
Eye to eye with the enemy, I had an internal debate. Does a lady remove her unmentionables before using a squatty potty or does she simply pull them down? Surely they can't go around your ankles in fear of touching the tile. Drawing on past experiences from my childhood days camping and on the farm, I decided that optimum placement would fall somewhere between the thigh and knee area. After reminding myself that any error in judgment would be visible to the school girls, I gave myself one final pep talk and completed the mission...with dry sandals and dress unscathed.
I threw open the stall door waiting for a gold medal or at least some confetti and flowers, but was met with something much more desirable. The approving looks of the school girls waiting behind me. I washed my hands and left the facility only pausing to give them a smile and a friendly nod of the head...which, of course, threw them into a fit of giggles. You know, there may have been a slight sashay in my walk as I made my way back to D who was waiting with that smile that I love so dearly.
Without further ado, please allow me to introduce the: The Squatty Potty
Please note that since writing this post a few days ago, I have reclaimed my fear of the squatty potty. During a visit to the safari park, I encountered an unwelcome visitor in a stall. There was a snake, of decent size and proportion, inside the potty! I excited the facility in a scene reminiscent of Home Alone!